Sometime the strangest ideas actually come true!!! They can start, blossom and sometimes turn into stories like this one. This story was born in 1979 in Vancouver BC on one of those nights ….. good food ….. good wine ….. maybe a little cannabis. My wife Mona and I were partying with my sister Lynne, her husband Ron Brown and my brother Chris. Crazy ideas often pop into your head at times like these ……. our aunt and uncle Nan and Tom Tickner ….. they were coming to visit from London, England …… VOILA ….. this story!!
As background, the year earlier, Lynne and Ron had made a trip to Europe, including a stop in London https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/London where they would visit with Mom’s relatives. Tom Tickner and Margaret grew up there. Mom met my Dad Ernie in London during WWII. Tom and Nan had a bunch of kids, our cousins.
Tom was quite outgoing and was always thrilled to show visitors around London …. his hometown. For Lynne and Ron’s arrival Tom, being the wildman that he was, created the story of London being all fake …… manufactured by Hollywood. He would be the “Tour Guide”, he made up a poster for what he called “Tickney Tours” to show the “real London”. The poster showed many “tour options” including a tour of the “London Sewage Works”. Needless to say the Browns did not choose that option …… LOL. ……. this story begins with but does not end with Tom, as the “Tickney Tours” guide showing the Brown’s the sites of London. He expertly used his umbrella as a pointer to all the FAKE London attractions which were “all made out of plastic ….. just for the tourists”. More about umbrellas later!!
So as mentioned earlier, Lynne and Ron, Mona and I and my brother Chris were together for dinner …… lots of wine ….. cannabis ……. We were having lots of laughs. Tom and his ways became the topic of discussion. And as is normal in these times ….. You know how things get started …… A joke about this …… A laugh ….. A “we should do XXXXX” ……. “But if we do XXXXX then” …… One thing leads to another …… You all laugh until you cry ……. Normally …… You go home …… Wake up the next day with a hangover …… Laugh at how much fun and stupidity was shared the night before ……. Then you forget about it …… Go back to your life ….. Done !!!!
Well ….. Not this time! We decided that we would outdo “Tickney Tours” upon Tom and Nan’s arrival ……… So this is where the Vancouver part of Tickney Tours begins and “Tickney Tours Canada” was created to show them the “real Vancouver”.
Ron and Lynne had recently moved to Vancouver from Ontario. The had purchase this red cube van which would become to be the center piece in the plan to “launch Tickner Tours Canada”. Remember the “Tour of the London Sewage Works”. Inside the van, right at the back door, we mounted a toilet ……. You know ….. a regular white ceramic toilet just like you see in any old home …… the big white tank …. You know just like the one that most people carry around in their cube van.
Oh ya ……. let’s back up a bit ….. Turns out that our sister Geri decided to come visit at the same time and as luck would have it, she flew from Ontario on the same flight dressed incognito in a big floppy hat so Tom and Nan would not recognize her on the airplane ….. During the flight she pops up and says hello to Tom and Nan …… that would be surprise enough for most folks …… but NOOOOO ….. We had arranged with Geri that a limousine would meet them at the Vancouver airport …… the driver would be holding up the little plaque the way limo drivers do at airports ….. and when the three of them landed at Vancouver International Airport they were met with the “Tickney Tours Canada” plaque, the limousine and driver who presented them with a “Tickney Tours Canada” travel folder complete with “The Tours of Vancouver”. The driver was previously instructed to watch for and follow a “red cube van” at a “safe” distance. He did his job perfectly.
Our visitors, in the limo, pulled away from the airport arrivals level …… Unbeknownst to any of them, the cube van was primed for the big show!! ….. All Geri knew was to get Tom and Nan watching the van ahead …… They saw the van ….. Painted on the back doors of the van was “VANCOUVER SEWAGE …… DELIVERED FRESH ……DAILY“. And then on cue (I can’t remember how we coordinated this) ….. As soon as it was safe …… And at a very low speed …. The back door of the van swung open and there was an umbrella, being held up by my brother Chris …… the umbrella was hiding him ….. He lowered the umbrella to reveal that he was sitting on “The Big White Toilet” …… His pants around his ankles ….. Supposedly …… Delivering on the Tickney Tours Canada promise ….. “Vancouver Sewage – Delivered Fresh Daily” LOL
Oh my!! What were we thinking!!!!!!!
We went on to have a lovely weekend …… We had lunch at a rotating restaurant over Vancouver …… We had The Great Canadian Foot Race where my three brothers and I raced around the Stanley Park sea wall ….. Dale won (No surprise) being an athlete and all …… And we went to several other Vancouver sites ……. “All made out of plastic for the tourists” of course!!!
A pleasant time was had by all!!
